Anneke was a lovely Dutch woman who came to me one day for an angel card reading and energy healing. She was in Chicago as an art teacher, and in addition to teaching at the college level, she had just had a show for her own art installation. She arrived a little late and out of breath for our appointment because she had ridden her bike.
I asked her what her goal was and where she would like to see improvement. She said she wanted to find balance.
“There are days when I don’t make time for my art. I don’t go to the gym because I have papers to grade. I don’t travel…” And the list went on.
Listening to her, I felt her frustration but wasn’t sure how to help. It took me a moment to realize that her situation only seemed confusing because her story wasn’t matching the woman I saw before me.
We needed to break her story down phrase by phrase, and do what I call a Reality Check.
Anneke said she didn’t make time for her art, yet she had just finished a show. She said she wasn’t going to the gym, but she was riding her bike. She wasn’t traveling, but she was living in another country.
Her dissatisfaction came from the thought that her reality needed to match everyone else’s. She was judging herself harshly because she couldn’t check off every important task each and every day.
“What if your cycle is seven days, rather than one?” I asked. “Instead of doing art every day, what if you do it every week? Can you let it have its own rhythm?”
The evidence showed that Anneke was finding balance and completing her goals, even if it didn’t look like she thought it should. As soon as she relaxed into her own rhythm and embraced her own reality, she felt a new ease and flow and reported that she was miraculously and happily getting more done.
Yet nothing had changed but her perspective.
Byron Katie teaches us to challenge our judgments by asking Is that true? Usually the evidence is there that what we seek is, at least in part, present now. We can be so busy looking ahead or around us that we don’t see what’s in front of us, what is already working and manifesting. Those three little words bring us back to the present, the only reality there is.