After learning of my husband’s multiple affairs and years of deceit, I chose to transform my pain by surrendering to it and living in “real time.” I was a spiritual seeker and life-long storyteller, but could I rise above my own story of betrayal to gratefully embrace the present moment?
Gold Medal Winner, Living Now Book Awards
Gold Medal Winner, Human Relations Indie Book Awards
Finalist, Parenting and Family, 2108 Best Book Awards
I made a mistake.
I was contacted by a guy in California who wanted his book edited. He asked me to do three sample pages before making a decision about whether to hire me. Sure, I said. After I sent them to him, he emailed to say that he’d found an error. He didn’t say where, and I couldn’t find it, but I felt chastised and embarrassed.
I admit I’ve never read Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet in Heaven, but I’ve been thinking of it anyway because of five people who taught me an important lesson this week.
I was in a complete funk, stressed out and shut down in the face of a problem that seemed to have no solution. I had a decision to make—one that would require not only a financial investment but also would force me to step into a bigger, bolder version of myself.
I’d been procrastinating for weeks. I knew I needed an author headshot taken for my book cover, but I hate having my picture taken. Not only that, what if I want to change my hair color? Or get a dramatic new haircut? It never seemed the right time.
Then I got an email from the publisher asking about it and saying something about schedules and blah, blah, blah. OK. Time to act.
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
–Ernest Hemingway
“Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”
–E.L. Doctorow
And more….!
On a recent drive to Michigan, I passed the time by listening to author Elizabeth Gilbert being interviewed on the podcast “On Being.” She was talking about the creative process and said the same words that I’ve read on the back cover of her new book, Big Magic:
“The work wants to be made, and it wants to be made through you.”
I admit, I teared up.
The Facebook message started: Tammy, I am a producer on Chelsea Handler’s new documentary series for Netflix…One of the films is on marriage…I was hoping you might share your story with Chelsea.
I re-read this several times with what I considered an impressive amount of skepticism, but honestly, I am not immune to words like producer, series, Los Angeles. So after taking 30 minutes to wander around my house pretending that I wasn’t a bit interested and it was all a mistake anyway, I did as the guy asked and called him.
Judy Garland said it best: The dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.
But why is the word DARE in there? Shouldn’t dreaming be easy?
It used to be, when we were kids. I was reminded of that this weekend as I drove my daughter 7 hours across Michigan to a performing arts camp. At the tender age of 10, she is one of those lucky souls who already has a dream that lifts and dazzles and moves her as tangibly as a pair of sky-high red heels. It’s inspiring to see, and hear, her in action; all the world (and house, and car) is her stage.
It was wonderful to hear Marianne Williamson speak at Unity in Chicago! She talked about becoming disciples of love, and about being disciplined in the practice of asking “Am I acting from love or fear?” It’s the only true question, the one beneath all others!
I made an appointment today to be evaluated by a vocational expert. What fun! At long last I’ll find out if my current job as stay-at-home-mom has earned me any street cred, or if, in fact, serving sausage patties 20 years ago at Bob Evans was the apex of my career.
This amusing little diversion is being “offered” to me compliments of my estranged husband, who was kind enough to bring this matter before a judge, who was gracious enough to pen the invitation on fancy paper with a Cook County logo on it, and even stamp it with a fancy stamp.
👉 Enjoy dedicated writing space just steps from Lake Michigan
👉 Benefit from one-on-one developmental editing sessions
