HELP is Not a Four-Letter Word

It was just past 6:30 and the party started at 7:00. There were boxes of books and tablecloths and candles and wine to be unloaded, food to be unpacked and beautifully arranged, microphones and music and smartphones to hook up.

There was a lot to do to prepare the rented space for my book launch celebration party and not much time to do it.

Luckily, I wasn’t doing it alone. In fact, there was a lovely moment when, amid the bustle, I stopped and noticed the small army of helpers I had at my disposal―friends and family members who were there to support me in whatever way I needed.

That moment of awareness and gratitude was one of the highlights of the night.

It led me to think more about support and what a crucial ingredient it is, not only in life but in creative endeavors.

Writing can be, and often must be, a solitary pursuit. I’ve learned over many years when and with whom to share my most tentative, fledging drafts and I caution other writers to be clear about their reasons for sharing as well.

It makes sense to protect your creative energy. I know more than one sensitive artist who mustered the courage to submit a chapter for feedback, only to be confused and demoralized by subjective, contradictory comments. Sadly, we all probably recall soul-crushing, creativity-killing moments when we were children at the hands of careless teachers.

It’s easy to see why writers adopt a “go-it-alone” attitude early on. I struggle constantly with the isolation of writing, which is why recognizing and celebrating those eager, helpful hands at my party was so gratifying and humbling.

I know how hard it can be to accept support after carrying a singular vision for so long. It can be even harder for those who haven’t yet committed to their vision.

If that’s you, I’ll share the words of my former writing coach, Jerry Cleaver, founder of the Chicago Writers’ Loft:

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit. Not quitting is vital. The other equally important factor is guidance. Sadly, 99 percent of all writers never publish.”

Jerry goes on to say, “My personal estimate is the right guidance will get you there at least ten times faster.”

I agree.

Asking for help is a good thing. It leads to shared stories, better books, successful parties, and stronger people.

Try it yourself and you’ll see.