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Not Naughty, But Nice: How to Co-Exist With Your Kids’ Stepmother

My ex-husband and his new wife were a picture-perfect couple. So much so that they were photographed for the cover of Crain’s Chicago Business magazine. They were featured in an article about how stepparents are either relegated to support status or simply invisible.

But his new wife wasn’t invisible. She was posed with him and our three children on the front steps of my house—sorry, now their house—as if she had lived there for more than two months, as if she had been mothering my children for years. She was being interviewed because she started a support group for other women like her.

Do What You Can When You Can

If you’ve ever been laid low by illness or injury, you know how frustrating it is to lie there thinking of all the things you should be doing. You plan how you’ll “catch up.” You make a lot of promises to yourself. Once I feel better, I’ll exercise. I’ll cook more. I’ll go to the beach and sit in the sand. And I’ll balance that with being super productive. I’ll write every day. I’ll do the dishes!

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