Tammy Letherer So you want to write about your life, but let’s face it—you’re afraid to share personal stories that involve people you know. Your experiences are populated with your loved ones and this is what’s stopping you. You can’t share your story without including the good, the bad, and the ugly, and those can come in the form of friends and family.
How do you write the truth without alienating your entire social network?
The first step is to commit to the story. This may seem obvious but I talk to many writers who spend a lot of time and energy working in fits and starts, uncertain about whether they are even allowed to write about their own lives (yes, you are allowed!). Rather than accept this discomfort, they believe they can put a happy spin on certain events or write only about the lessons they learned, or the end results, without going into any conflict. Then they wonder why the story peters out or bores anyone who reads it.
You are not going to be one of those people.
Because if you’re feeling called to write about your life and that feeling is not coming from a place of revenge or mean-spiritedness, then you have to trust that pull.
Arthur Miller writes:
“The writer must be in it, he can’t be to one side of it, ever. He has to be endangered by it. His own attitudes have to be tested in it. The best work that anybody ever writes is the work that is on the verge of embarrassing him, always.”
Are you ready to commit? Once you do, the story becomes King (or Queen), meaning the story must be served. It is sovereign. It reigns supreme. It leads the way. And it may make demands on you. It may put you in some uncomfortable positions, but it HAS to rule the day.
A half-told story is a weak story and a weak story will die on the page.
So, before you commit to your story, you need to ask yourself if you’re ready and willing to tell the truth. This can be scary. Because you’ll be telling the truth not only about yourself but about the characters in your story—your husband or wife, your parents, your siblings or children, a best friend, or lost love.
If you’re not ready to be honest about how others’ actions affected you, you’re not ready to write.
Other people don’t have to agree with what you write and you are not required to justify your choices. But you do have to make your choices intentionally.
And don’t worry, embarrassment never killed anyone.
