Flowers For The Asking

A few days ago, my friend Mark was feeling depressed and decided to stop at Trader Joe’s and buy himself some flowers. When he told the woman at the check-out why he needed flowers, she insisted on buying them for him.

Random act of kindness? Sure.

But it’s also a reminder that asking begins as an inner dialogue. Mark asked himself, “What do I need to feel more loved and supported today?”


My First Family Vacation as a Single Mom

I know I’ve entered the wilderness when my son says, “Dad laughs. You don’t.”

It’s true. So we are embarking on our first post-divorce vacation. I’ll have the kids for a solid week, on my own, and I’m scared. I’ve chosen a YMCA family camp in Wisconsin as our destination because at least there […]


What Are You Asking For?

A couple of weeks ago my neighbor helped me hang a bird feeder right outside my sun room window. This is where I spend most of my day, and I was excited about getting such a close view of the birds. I pictured sparrows and finches—dainty little things with soft colors and timid tweets. And for the first two weeks, that’s what I got.

Until yesterday, when this big black ominous-looking bird with an iridescent blue head came swooping in, landing so forcefully on the feeder that it thumped loudly against the house. He sat there for a long time, laying claim to the suet, and when he flew away it was only to the nearby tree, where he perched most of the day.

He made me uneasy, although I’m not sure why. He’s just a bird, eating at a bird feeder. I got what I wanted, but it didn’t look like I’d expected.


Does Your ‘Ask’ Need a Kicking?

I want to share a pet peeve of mine: when I listen to people call in to one of my favorite radio hosts, so many of them say, “I have a question for you,” or “Here’s my question…” and then they don’t ask a question! They tell a story.

Maybe there’s something slippery about the curvy question mark. Either we put it on the end of what should be statements, or we leave it out altogether and tell ourselves we’re being clear in our requests.

A friend shared recently that he was upset about having to clear his belongings out of his basement to make room for his wife’s things.

“Did you ask her to consider a different solution?” I said.

“Well, I told her that I was upset,” he answered.


How Going Viral Leads to Dis-Ease

In last week’s newsletter, I asked readers to take a peek at my first article as guest author on DivorcedMoms.com. I was at 1,300 views and hoping to earn a bronze star on that site.

Fast forward (and I mean fast)… that blog was picked up and featured on the Huffington Post’s Divorce page, then picked up by HP Germany and today appeared in Australia’s IVillage.

The DM editor told me I’d gone viral. No wonder I’m feeling a little dizzy and having trouble catching my breath.


Stuck in the Middle Again

I just finished working with a wonderful story coach named Pat. We spent a month together shaping and defining my upcoming book. Pat was a pro about finding the arc of the story—the only hitch was that what I called the end, she said was the middle.

Ugh. Anyone who has tackled a long-term project knows that the last thing you want to hear is that you’re halfway there!

I didn’t want to write about my dad dying—too painful, or about the long overdue breakup with a boyfriend—too embarrassing.


Free Reality Check

Anneke was a lovely Dutch woman who came to me one day for an angel card reading and energy healing. She was in Chicago as an art teacher, and in addition to teaching at the college level, she had just had a show for her own art installation. She arrived a little late and out of breath for our appointment because she had ridden her bike.

I asked her what her goal was and where she would like to see improvement. She said she wanted to find balance.

“There are days when I don’t make time for my art. I don’t go to the gym because I have papers to grade. I don’t travel…” And the list went on.


How Are You Answering the Knock?

If you’re like me, you probably spent some time this month laid up in the house with the flu. But I wonder if you, like me, struggle with those housebound days becoming an open house for every fear and doubt you’ve ever had.

Illness seems to hit me hardest in my emotional body. As I lay on the couch with my household falling down around me (my children eating popcorn for lunch and polishing off chewable vitamin C tablets like they were candy, the dog peeing on the floor) I don’t have the strength to keep my thoughts positive.


The Story of the Burglar and the Bread

Several years ago I lived next to a woman who was rather eccentric. She lived alone, and had an elaborate web of chains and padlocks rigged from her porch posts to her front door. One day, as I was getting into my car with my daughter, the woman approached us and, unprompted, launched into a story.

“Someone broke into my house,” she said.

My daughter leaned forward, listening intently, and I cringed. She was only 3 years old at the time and I didn’t want her to have nightmares.