When I was working as an intuitive healer at a spa in Chicago, most of the people who came in wanted angel card readings. I began each session by asking “What area of your life would you most like to see improved? Where do you need some clarity?”
Even when the client answered ‘career’ or ‘finances,’ the cards often pointed toward romantic relationships. I love that about oracle cards — they speak to what’s on our hearts, whether we admit it or not. Digging further, I’d discover that the real question was: will I be loved?
Often there was a sheepishness or hesitancy around admitting this most basic, burning doubt and desire.
My smile on Christian Mingle caught his attention. His profile intrigued me.
The next few weeks were filled with 3-hour phone conversations between Alabama and Tennessee, and several days of in-person time, but I was determined not to fall for Terry quickly. I continuously critiqued everything he said – emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and even humorously. Yet our commonalities began to draw me in and my emotional wall began to crumble.
Confused, one evening I raised my arms and prayed out loud – simply, plaintively, “God, I need help! I don’t know what to do!”
When I declared that February’s theme would be LOVE, it was with an ‘oh won’t this be fun?’ attitude. After all, a more universal or more important topic doesn’t exist. There’s so much to write about!
Yikes. Now that it’s time to pin those those warm, wispy feelings to the page, my excitement has turned to fear. What is there to say that hasn’t been said? And what do I know about anything? I sit down to write and my palms turn sweaty. I need to go shower, get dressed, find a new hairstyle. I need to make myself better before I can venture out on the internet.
Hmmm…my date with the blank page is feeling a lot like, well, a date. How quickly the rosy glow of love and attraction is overshadowed by resistance and doubt.