The Eyes Have It


Tear off the mask.Your face is glorious.

I was one of those painfully shy kids who would hide behind my mom’s legs when someone spoke to me. Thankfully, I’m a recovering wallflower; I’ve shed that shy label once and for all.

Or so I thought.

I was recently challenged to pay attention to how I make eye contact. Apparently the slew of dating sites have it wrong. They’d like us to put all our energy into crafting a perfect profile and posting photos that show “I look good in jeans AND in heels!!” when the energy we send with our eyes and our smile is the true secret to attraction.

Is it really that simple?

What I found is that it’s not so simple to smile and make eye contact. When I start to observe when it’s easy and when it’s not, I learn a lot about myself. I see where I have expectations. Where I make judgments. I discover that I need to feel safe. And that many times I don’t.

I’ve also discovered that connections are just waiting to be made when I allow myself to feel glorious, and confident, and receptive. Just a few days ago a friend commented that my eyes looked very green. In a rush of gratitude, I confessed to her that one of my secret desires is for someone to see that my eyes aren’t just brown, as they seem at first glance.

“People have never really noticed that,” I said.

But maybe it’s because I haven’t allowed myself to be seen. Now, as I become aware of my own mask, I’m more eager to remove it. It feels itchy, outdated, and downright uncomfortable. Time to tear it off.

Who’s with me?